I was talking to an old friend today on the phone when he said something that truly disturbed me, but I held my tongue and didn’t reveal my distress.
I would have had every right to say something, but what would be the point ?
Back in the beginning of 2013, sometime around April of that year, I saved him several times financially. At least three times I gave in, and helped him with his cell phone bill.
Then during a visit with him once, he said that someone that ” I allowed ” to come into the place he was staying, had stolen a large amount of money from him since he noticed it missing as soon as that person had left. Of course I argued extensively with him about it, but he kept insisting that it was ” my fault ” that the money was gone, so I should pay him back for it. Plus he made sure to point out to me that he desperately needed that money to survive. So yet again I was a stupid pushover, and I gave in. Before I left him at that place I made a special trip to an ATM, and I withdrew a large amount from my bank account.
Looking back I can see how stupid I was for doing this when there was no guarantee that he would ever pay me back for it, especially since at that point he had still not paid me back from paying his cell phone bill three times ! He had continuously insisted every time I talked to him that he would pay me back for his cell phone bills that I paid, but I never saw even one dollar of the money.
Now advance two years later, he still has never paid me one penny of what he owes me from 2013. Earlier when I was talking to him on the phone he started to tell me about a new woman he’s been seeing, and had the nerve to tell me that he spent $ 3,000 dollars on a new guitar he bought for her, and he also bought her a diamond cocktail ring !
He didn’t even bother to say one damn word about the money he ” still owes ” me !
He supposedly has a lot of money saved up from his past when he was in a band for many years. I wonder if any of what he’s told me about that is true, since I tried to look up details about him being in that band back then online, and I can’t find anything about him at all.
Since I wonder about him ever even being in a band, it falls into place that there’s a strong probability that he doesn’t have a lot of money the way he claims he has to spend whenever he feels like it.
After all, if he really has had a lot of money saved from his past, then why wasn’t he able to pay his own cell phone bill three times, and why was he so upset at that large amount of money coming up missing. According to his own details about his personal finances, he should have been able to just have someone take him to an ATM, and withdraw more money from his bank account.
I don’t know what to think about him. I wonder how much of what he says to me sometimes is the complete truth. I think there’s a good chance that he invents this fantasy persona of a rich former band member, because he doesn’t feel the real truth of his life is interesting enough to share with anyone.
I would confront him about the possibility of his stories about his past being falsehoods, but I’m positive that he would simply vehemently insist that everything he’s ever said about it is the whole truth. So what would be the point ?
Since his debt with me is two years old now, and he’s showed me no sign of making a real effort to pay me back. I’m thinking that there’s no chance of him suddenly paying me back now. No point of asking him about it again now, it’d be like trying to capture the wind in a box. It’s simply not going to happen. I know this, and still I can’t help feeling bothered that he claimed he spent a ton of money on that other woman when he ” still ” owes me a large amount. Just in case you wonder, this is not about jealousy at all. He might think I was feeling a bit jealous when he was telling me about her, but he’s my past. He’s got such a cocky, over confident personality, that he can’t seem to see that it’s been too long since I’ve seen him. Too many things have happened since I saw him two years ago, and I’ve had other relationships since then. I do still care about him, but not in the way he thinks I do.
Usually I enjoy talking to him, except for that moment earlier when he mentioned spending a lot of money on that other woman. I’m considering telling him next time I talk to him on the phone, how much that bothered me. I’m not completely sure if I should, or not. I don’t think it would do any good, except to let him know that he needs to think about what he’s saying to me. He should think a bit more before he speaks.
I don’t want to make him feel bad, but he didn’t have the right to say what he did that made me feel bad. So why not tell him ? I just don’t know. Hopefully he won’t call me for a day, or two, and it will give me a chance to consider even more if I should tell him, or not.