Once again I’m opening the door to possible romance. Since I’m only in the very first steps of getting to know ” him “, I’m determined to keep myself in a state of hopefulness that’s tempered with reasonable caution, and realistic expectations. This isn’t that easy for me since honestly lately I’ve been sick and tired of being alone. At the same time I am not desperate by any means. I refuse to ” settle ” for the one that’s truly not right for me. I will not ” settle ” for second best, or try to change myself to fit their needs or desires. They will either accept me exactly as I am right now, or they can move on. If they decide to move on, then I will know that they weren’t the one for me.
I know that there are no guarantees that when meeting someone brand new, and just beginning to get to know them, that there will be enough of a connection, and chemistry, between you and him to eventually develop into more than simple friendship.
I’ve been here too many times to know how quickly it can fall apart. Sometimes it seems to fall apart even before it’s had a chance to even begin. In those situations all I can assume is that it fell apart that quickly because that person simply wasn’t the ” right one ” for me.
I’ve always been of the opinion that if two people are meant to share something ” special “, then it will all come together naturally in time. If they’re meant to be together then no amount of being ” especially sweet “, or ” nice ” to them, to convince them that they should be with you, will be needed. They won’t need convincing because they will know – just as you will know – that you two are meant to be.
Unrealistic ? I don’t think so. I see it as believing that FATE takes a part in putting us together with the ones we’re meant to be with, and meant to love.
Nothing we can do will change Fate’s deal.
It will deal it’s hand how it decides, and we’re just it’s pawns in the game of Life and Love.
The trick to all of this is to keep our eyes open to what’s truly in front of us.
Pay attention to the one that may not seem on the surface to be the ” right one ” at first, but after patiently getting to know them better then you may see that they are truly the one for you. You have to have patience, and not try to speed up Fate’s process.
Fate plays it’s hand at it’s own pace, not ours.
One obstacle I face constantly is trying to find someone that’s truly looking for the same as I am. Too many times online many people take on a persona that they wouldn’t dream of doing in any face to face interactions. Yet online they believe it’s ” okay ” to behave in a completely disrespectful, rude, obnoxious, far too forward, and sexually aggressive way.
Would they act that way with someone they bumped into on the street in a public place ?
Oh hell no, I believe is the clear answer to that !
I wish they would realize that not everyone views online interactions in such a crude, rude, and aggressive way. Some of us – the rare few I suppose – are actual real people that are looking for real interactions with others of like mind.
Unfortunately in my experiences interacting with others online, I’ve found that only 2 out of 20 that I may chat with, will behave in a respectful, kind, and truly friendly manner.
The rest I wish would stick with chatting on porn sites, for obviously sex is the only thing on their minds.
Those degenerates chat with normal kind people such as myself, and automatically expect them to behave like the whores on the porn sites.
It’s hilarious to me how stupid those perverts can be….
especially when I explain right away that I am NOT like that, and they have the nerve to ask me ” WHY ? ” … LOL ! HAHAHAHAHAHA !
My answer to their question is typically a simple,
” Because that’s the way it is. “
I decided a long time ago that they’re not even worth it as far as trying to explain it any further than that. They’re not worth even a moment of my time.
Once in a blue moon though, like very recently, I find one person that seems to have potential to be a truly kind, caring, loving, and decent person, that I truly want to get to know much better.
The only problem I face is that finding this one person amid the throngs of internet perverts, and scammers out there, I can’t help but feel automatically skeptical as to whether he is real, or not. Sure I’m hopeful, but I’m afraid to be hopeful, and have my hopes crushed yet again.
So here I am once again.
I’ve opened the ” door ” again.
I am hopeful, but I am trying my hardest to keep a tight grip on a healthy dose of skepticism mixed with reality, so I won’t be completely crushed if it doesn’t not work out as well as I would hope.
No, I am not desperate to be with anyone. I want to make this crystal clear right now.
I know how to live alone. I have lived alone for years. I do it. I can do it, and I manage.
There is a big difference between being desperate, and being tired of a situation.
I am tired of being alone.
I miss having someone in my life.
I don’t believe that makes a person desperate.
I believe that makes a person human.
We are social animals.
We are ” pack animals ” that are meant to be around others, no matter how much some of us try to act otherwise.
We need each other. We need interaction with others.
Without that interaction I feel that we fail to thrive as much as we could if we had someone special in our life.
None of this makes us desperate.
It makes us human.
I’ve opened the door once again.
Will it be slammed in my face again ?
That remains to be seen.