Love Addiction… This is ONLY my opinion… nothing else

Before I even start to explore my opinions, and viewpoints on the subject of Love Addiction, I need to remind anyone that reads this of one simple fact. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, right or wrong. It’s not up to anyone to judge, or criticize others because their opinions do not match their’s, or even if their opinions do not match any substantial scientific facts.
Except I must point out right away that Love Addiction is not recognized by the DSM IV.
This post is simply one person’s look at a topic that’s been explored from many angles, and in my opinion it’s been used a crutch for many to avoid other possible problems that could exist in the person’s mind.
I am not, and have no plans on ever making my blogs on wordpress private, so I realize that leaves me open to receiving comments. That’s fine. I say ” live and let live “. It’s everyone’s right to speak their mind, but just remember that I have just as much right to say what I want to on here, as you have to write a comment about any of my posts.
Last time I heard the U.S. does have Freedom of Speech, or has that changed ? I don’t believe it has.
With all of that out of the way, I’ll begin.
In case you were already assuming it by reading my other posts on here, yes I think it’s possible that I do have ” love addiction ” to a certain degree embedded in my thinking, and overall behavior. But.. SO WHAT ?!?!
Which one of you can honestly say that you are PERFECT ?
The obvious, and only answer is none of you.
All of us have our own issues, our own glitches in our thinking. It’s likely that most of those glitches started when we were very small children. Regardless of whether it started when we very young, or possibly from various life experiences in our later years, either way it’s not a simple, or easy thing to change those thought processes once they’ve been set for many years. It takes money to see a therapist / or psychologist, and money for prescriptions if you were prescribed something to help change you. Even if you have insurance, that doesn’t help much when you have very basic coverage that barely covers any mental health problems. The out of pocket expenses involved would be out of this world. When you throw in that a person is already psychically disabled, and living on a very tight fixed income then the possibility of that person seeing any sort of mental health professional is nil.
My option is to make the best of how we are in this moment, regardless of any supposed dysfunction that mainstream media says you ” might ” have. If you’re not stalking anyone, not committing any illegal acts, not physically hurting yourself or anyone else, then what is the harm ? None. The thing is so many in society think that everyone should think in a set pattern. If you dare to think even slightly different from them, then you are wrong, broken, and in need of ” fixing ” ! I say, leave others alone, and let them live how they decide live. Let other live how they want to live, no matter whether you think it is ” right “, or not. It’s not up to you to judge. It’s their life, and it’s their right to decide if they need, or even are able to seek help with a matter.
The only time any direct intervention should take place is if there is an immediate psychical danger to that person, or to others. Other than that, people should look at their own lives before they feel like it’s their right to judge, and criticize others.
The start of my life was a lot better than others, but still quite dysfunctional in ways my parents were simply too busy to recognize. I don’t blame them for anything. I want to get that clear right away. I know that they did the best they could for the family. They did the best they knew to do for all of us; myself, my two sisters, and I.
With a daily schedule that left very little, if any, time to actually sit and talk to either my mom, or my dad, there was no way to make them aware of the reality of things. Granted it was happening right before their eyes, but the daily grind of their lives had them too busy to even sit, and relax for more than five or ten minutes at a time, with the exception of meal times. How then could they open their eyes to the truth ?
I was the youngest of four in my family. My next sibling up from me is six years older, and then it goes up from there to my oldest sister which is 10 years older than me. This age difference was a road block for me that I was constantly trying hard to break apart. Only very rarely I felt I broke through when my oldest sister – the one that’s ten years older than me – would be kind enough to give me some of her time, and attention. The other two were always in their own little worlds, with no time to spend with their little sister.
Having to deal with this constant feeling of being pushed away, and being a burden to everyone I loved, was it no wonder I was extremely shy growing up, and had a very hard time making any friends ? I had maybe one, or two, friends in my neighborhood but even they weren’t close friends. Many times they would push me aside as if I was nothing but a ” bother ” to them.
Trying to talk to my mom was always a struggle for me, because with four children to raise she was always busy. I loved every moment I was allowed to spend with mom, just her and I, but they were very rare, very few and far between.
Dad worked very hard every day of the week, and even on many weekends he would have work he had to finish for Monday. With dad it was never really a question of if he had time he could share with me, so I could sit and talk to him. It was only that he was either not a home because he was still at work, or when he did finally get home he was too tired to talk to myself, or any of my siblings. Many times I tried to connect to him when the tv news programs were on, even though to tell the truth I always hated the news. I would ask him questions about the news, just to be able to talk to him about something. When he smiled at me if I got something right, it felt like he was hugging me with his eyes. I learned quickly when I was little that whenever dad’s eyebrows were very fluffy looking, that meant he had a bad migraine headache because of his work, and I wasn’t supposed to talk to him at all during those times. Dad worked so hard, unfortunately those migraine headaches happened quite often.
Like I said earlier, I don’t blame either of my parents for anything because I know that they did the very best they could for our family. I love them both very much. I always have, and always will.
My only point to mentioning any of that is simply because I’ve read some information online about Love Addiction. One point that a few sources agreed on is that it’s directly connected to a feeling of abandonment, and lack of enough affection, when a person was very young. If they didn’t receive the love, affection, and feeling of belonging that they needed growing up, then as an adult their view of Love is slanted, and distorted because they’re left with a longing for this Love that was never completely given to them as a youth.
In my case if this is what’s really been engraved into my thought processes, then its’ been there for about 40 years I figure, at least since I was 6 years old.
That’s an extremely long time to be living with a set way of thinking. Who’s to say that there is a real way of changing it now ? And even if some claim there is, why should I try ? My thoughts on Love, Relationships, Romance, etc.. don’t harm anyone. I don’t take my views to extreme like you hear sometimes in the news on tv. I’ve never stalked, and injured someone, and I never will.
I am how I am. Take me or leave me… this is Who I am.
Who’s to say that I’m so wrong ? I dare anyone else to prove to me that they have absolutely no ” issues “, or ” hangups ” of any sort in their thinking concerning Love, and Relationships ! No one is perfect ! No one ! Look at your own life, and take care of yourself before you start to judge, or criticize someone else.
The only one perfect is GOD ! Do you dare to say you’re perfect like GOD ? I would hope no one would dare to say that to me, since it is simply not possible.
I love with all of my heart, and soul. Is that really so wrong ? Are we such a hate-filled society now that loving completely is a character defect ?! There is far too much hate, anger, and ugliness in the world. There needs to be more Love, not more Hate. Ones that Love should never be judged as wrong, and be criticized.
Life is far too short, and too precious to go around filled with hate, arrogance, and coldness. Before you look down at someone, and judge them, turn your view inward to yourself, and examine your own life. If you do this in a completely honest fashion, then I’m sure you’ll find that you’re not as perfect as you thought you were.

About insanityrules67

I'm passionate about Writing. I have been ever since high school. I also Love to Read Fantasy, or Sci-Fi. Plus I enjoy Drawing, Playing Games Online, Watching Movies, Playing Board Games, Watching WWE Wrestling, and Gazing at the Stars on a Clear Cool Fall - or Winter - Night. Plus I also Love to stay in Touch with my Friends and Family Online.
This entry was posted in Restless Thoughts, Telling it like it is, Understanding. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s