” Heaven and Hell “… a Letter that won’t get sent…

We shared a lifetime of memories in a relatively short period of time. You took me to the heights of passion that I never knew were possible till you. Instead of making those ” good times ” a habit, or your ” norm “, at times you also showed me a dark world of anger and hell, as well. Were those moments of extreme ecstasy worth the darkness that you buried me in at times ? I suppose the answer to that question should be easy for me, but it’s not. Why, you may wonder can’t I answer that question right away ? The answer is simple. It’s because my Heart was too invested. I had given of myself completely; heart, and soul. You were my ” Everything “. You were my ” World “. I wanted nothing more than for you to be happy with me. I lost all concept of my own personal happiness, when I was with you, my love.
I loved you with a love that would have outlasted all of the stars in the heavens. Even now, after so much time has passed since we were last together, I still feel a yearning to be with you. I long to have you by my side again. Despite the clear desires I still feel to have you here once again, I wonder if the past will repeat itself. That can not happen. I’ve told you this many times, and you’ve agreed.
Still, will you truly be able to guarantee me that the old darkness will not return ?
When you took me to the heights of pleasure that I didn’t know existed, I felt like my spirit was soaring above the clouds, and would never come down. If only those moments had not been so random, and scattered, while you were here with me. It tore me apart to allow you to take me to those heights, only to sometimes moments later pull me straight down to a ” hell ” of your making. Your anger created a ” hell on earth ” at times. During those dark moments I would look into your eyes, and not recognize the man before me. I don’t want to share my home with that man again. He is not welcome here. I’m sure you are aware of this, and yet I wonder if you can keep ” him ” from reappearing. Do you have control over the master of darkness, that bringer of hate, and anger ? I hope you do now. I hope this not only for our potential reunion, but for your own sake. With that darkness lingering somewhere underneath your surface, you can never truly have the real happiness, and peace, in your life that you deserve.
You are a ” good man “, my love. I feel this is true with every fiber of my being. You have the capability to love completely, with all of your heart and soul. For that capability to be truly released, you must grab onto the reigns tight, and control that darkness that threatens to destroy any chance of happiness you might have.
While, yes it is true that all of us have a certain ” dark side ” to our natures. The difference is that unlike you the average person has constructed positive ways of reigning in their dark sides. It’s the same principal that most use when dealing with life’s stresses. We must find positive, and constructive – ( not destructive ), ways to cope with the stresses of life. Life is not a ” bed of roses “, no matter how much we try to make it that way. There will always be obstacles, and various stresses, that all of us must face. It’s how we deal with what Life throws in our paths that directly affects our success.
My Love, I hope you have learned these concepts since we last were with each other face to face. I know you’ve gone through a lot of difficulties since I last saw you. I hope that you’ve learned much more positive, and constructive ways to deal with whatever Life throws in your path. Hopefully you’ve learned the error of your ” old ways ” by now.
I still want what I wanted from the first time I met you so long ago. I want Us to have a truly happy life together. As much as I desire this, I’m still full of lingering questions. For I want the ” Heaven ” that you used to take me to, but without the ” Hell ” that you’d drag me to as well. I can’t live on that roller coaster ride again. One time on that ride was more than enough. Before you take even one small step to come my way, you need to be absolutely sure that you won’t be putting Us on that crazy ride once again.

Advertisements

About insanityrules67

I'm passionate about Writing. I have been ever since high school. I also Love to Read Fantasy, or Sci-Fi. Plus I enjoy Drawing, Playing Games Online, Watching Movies, Playing Board Games, Watching WWE Wrestling, and Gazing at the Stars on a Clear Cool Fall - or Winter - Night. Plus I also Love to stay in Touch with my Friends and Family Online.
This entry was posted in crazy guys, Desires, Doubts, Dreams, Fears, Heart and Mind Battles, Heart's Choices, Holding onto Hope, Hope, Life Choices, Passion, Relationships, Unanswered Questions and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s