Would things be ” better ” with a Man, or ” worse ” ? hmmmm

I’ve been contemplating something today that I’m sure is an issue for many women around the world. I’ve been wondering if my Life would be any better with a man, or would it end up being worse ? It’s hard to say without knowing first what man I’d actually be with. Depending on that man, and how he acted in the relationship, almost anything would be possible.
Sure it’d be nice to have someone here with me to talk to, and share things with, but what would happen if he decided to hardly ever give me any space ? I still would want some ” alone time “, at some point. Everyone needs at least some space, even those in a very committed relationship. That could be a definite potential problem. It might not be a major issue at first, since initially I’d welcome his company. Soon enough though, arguments would definitely start. Small disagreements would quickly become major arguments, until I’d find myself yelling at him nearly every day. At least, this is one possibility, with a very co-dependent, and clingy man.
So is it better to be alone ? I’m not so sure about this right now. I’ve lived alone for many years now, and I’m pretty tired of it. When you discover that you’re talking to yourself just to hear a ” voice “, you know that you’re definitely in need of some company.
Too many days I feel like the ” four walls ” of my apartment are closing in on me. I feel stifled, and shut away from the world. It makes me want to yell out just to see if anyone would even notice. I doubt anyone would, especially not since my upstairs neighbors are constantly making a lot of noise. They would probably hear me, and not think anything of it since they’d be too busy being noisy themselves.
I try hard to stay positive, and not let loneliness pull me down. Yet I’m only human. How can I not feel the darkness of loneliness pulling at me quite often ? It’s only natural, I think.
Every day I try to push myself to do something to reach out to someone, even if it’s only through instant messages online to one of my internet friends. The internet is both a blessing, and a curse. Sure it makes it easier to communicate with many people no matter how far away they are from you. It’s not the same as face to face human contact. Even if you message someone through yahoo messenger, and you have a web cam. Still you’re not in the same room with that person. You can’t completely see every nuance of their facial features when they’re speaking to you. As a result you’re not having the same quality interaction that you could have if you were physically face to face, actually in the same room. Besides this, unless you have very expensive computer equipment, you can’t hear the subtle variations in their voice when they’re speaking to you, while you’re communicating through a web cam. I’ve always been a firm believer that you can tell a lot about what the other person is truly feeling when you’re talking to them, by their facial expressions, and their tone of voice.
Sorry if I got off topic a bit. That’s a bad habit of mine sometimes when I write straight from my thoughts, without any forethought. My fingers become an extension of my thoughts. It’s cathartic at least, even if once it’s down in a post it might seem a bit ” rambling “.
Back to the main reason I started writing this post…
What’s the answer ? I wish to God that I knew. The awkward catch to figuring out if you’re better with a man in your life, or not, is that you truly can’t know ” until ” he is in your life ! It’s definitely a catch twenty-two situation. The problem with that is that if the man you’ve let into your life ends up being problematic, it’s not always that easy to rid yourself of him. I guess it’s a risk worth taking sometimes, if you want a chance at finding the ” one ” that will be a definite benefit in your life. What’s that saying ? You can’t know until you try ? I believe it goes something like that.
Love is a risk of the heart, but without Love in your Life you’re left with a void that nothing else can truly fill.
I hope that one day I’ll find – or at least Fate will bring Him to me, the One that I’m meant to be with, and love for always. Actively searching for ” The One “, seems to get a person nowhere fast. So I’ve decided to leave it up to Fate, or God, whichever you prefer to believe in. Our lives are guided, and directed towards where we’re supposed to be, and towards who we’re supposed to be with, and love. I believe in this. I just wish that it would hurry up, and direct me. I’m tired of being alone.

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About insanityrules67

I'm passionate about Writing. I have been ever since high school. I also Love to Read Fantasy, or Sci-Fi. Plus I enjoy Drawing, Playing Games Online, Watching Movies, Playing Board Games, Watching WWE Wrestling, and Gazing at the Stars on a Clear Cool Fall - or Winter - Night. Plus I also Love to stay in Touch with my Friends and Family Online.
This entry was posted in Desires, Dreams, Heart's Choices, Holding onto Hope, Hope, Hopeful Heart, Life Choices, Relationships, Restless, Restless Thoughts, Swirling Thoughts, Telling it like it is and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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