Swirling Thoughts…..

Maybe I should have figured this would happen, since it seems like every time things are going wonderfully that’s exactly when it all goes south. I was anticipating a phone call from my ex-boyfriend, but I had no clue it would bring the news that it did. As it happened when he did call I was busy on the phone at that time trying to get my new health insurance plan situation straightened out. I was almost finished with my call to the insurance company when my call waiting went off. Unfortunately there was no way I could pick up the incoming call because I was waiting on an automated confirmation number for the changes I had just spent an hour on the phone completing with the insurance company. If I had hung up with the insurance company at that moment it would have cancelled everything I had just worked hard on completing for an hour, and I would have had to ” redo ” it all in yet another phone call to them. I wasn’t about to do that ! So I ignored the incoming call, and let it go to my voice mail.
After finishing up with the insurance company, I checked on the waiting voice mail message. I was expecting a simple message from my ex-boyfriend saying something like, ” Hi, sorry I missed you. I’ll call you back in a little while. ” Instead what the voice mail message told me was something totally unexpected, disappointing, upsetting, and slightly shocking to a certain degree. I realize that anyone that reads this post will wonder at this point what sort of voice mail message could be unexpected, disappointing, upsetting, and slightly shocking to a certain degree, all at the same time, and I’m sorry but I can’t and won’t disclose the details of it in this post. All I can truly say is that I had been thinking for months now that my ex-boyfriend was heading down a ” better road ” in his life. After getting that call from him last night, now I wonder if he’ll ever truly be able to do what he needs to do to better his future.
I’ve been on his side for years, and always tried to be supportive. It’s hard though when a person continues to make the same mistakes over and over. At some point you should learn from your past, and not repeat it. That’s simple common sense. Somehow it always seems to escape the grasp of his mind.
I still love him very much, but what do you do with a person that can’t seem to see that he must make some positive changes to truly have the better future he’s always said that he wants ? You can reason with them, and do your very best to give them good advice. Unless they actually start making those needed positive changes, then nothing in their life is every going to truly change. They’re doomed to continue to repeat the mistakes of the past unless they finally see the sense of this.
I realize that truly loving someone doesn’t mean that you stand by them only during the good times. Still you want to see a ” light at the end of the tunnel “, so to speak. What I mean is that as much as you are willing to be by their side during the bad times, you still want and deserve there to be a clear sign that there will be ” good times ” in the future. I don’t think that’s asking for too much.
Now I’m left to sit here wondering what I should next ? Should I continue to stand by him, and support him anyway that I can ? Or should I tell myself that this is the ” last straw ” ? It’s something that’s got my thoughts twisted up into a very perplexing knot. At this point I’m not even sure where to begin to unravel that knot. The only thing that I can see that will help is if suddenly everything goes back to ” looking good ” the way it was for many months. I wish I could shake the gut feeling I have at the moment that things aren’t going to change again any time soon.

About insanityrules67

I'm passionate about Writing. I have been ever since high school. I also Love to Read Fantasy, or Sci-Fi. Plus I enjoy Drawing, Playing Games Online, Watching Movies, Playing Board Games, Watching WWE Wrestling, and Gazing at the Stars on a Clear Cool Fall - or Winter - Night. Plus I also Love to stay in Touch with my Friends and Family Online.
This entry was posted in Forever Love, Frustration, Heart's Choices, Hope, Life Choices, Mixed Feelings, Phone Calls, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Swirling Thoughts…..

  1. dearmesummer says:

    Hiiii. I added you to my list of nominees for the Liebster Award. Please look here for some dits: http://summerandyates.wordpress.com/2014/01/29/i-have-no-idea/

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