Why do Good Women fall so hard for Bad Men ?…

It’s an unfair fact I feel, that you always hear about a ” good woman in love with a bad man “, but you never hear it the other way around. No one ever says.. ” Oh that wonderful man fell hard for that awful woman “. Why is that ? I have one theory. I think that often a man wants a stereotypical ” bad ” woman. He wants a woman that’s wild, a rule-breaker, and has a sense of disregard for authority. Others seem to admire a man if he has a ” bad ” woman. A woman never gets praise for being with a ” bad ” man. Why is that ? That’s simple. It’s because too many women allow the man to dictate every facet of their lives. They allow the man to step on them, put them down, and treat them like garbage, literally.
Have you ever heard of a man allowing a woman to do that to him ? Not usually. Men won’t allow themselves to be treated that way. While I’m not saying men are perfect, since they aren’t by any means. I’m simply saying that women should adapt that one characteristic of most men into their own lives. Women need to stand up for themselves more, and demand respect rather than groveling for it. How can a woman truly expect to be respected when she clearly doesn’t respect herself ? It’s the same principle as loving yourself first, so that you are truly free to love others completely.
I wish there was such a thing as glasses that a woman could put on so she could clearly see the truth of things. Too many times others can see how beautiful, kind, caring, compassionate, and giving she is, but she’s unable to see it for herself. She lives her life seemingly completely oblivious to what an amazing person she is, and how she deserves the best this world can offer. Instead she lives her life with a ” shadow ” of self-doubt, insecurity, and unawareness, hanging over her, and clouding every decision she makes in her life. With that ” shadow ” always cloaking every move she makes, she ends up ultimately making destructive decisions that end up badly no matter how hard she tries to stop it. If only she could see how it’s not her fault. She needs to see that she is not to blame for terrible things happening in her life. She takes the blame into her heart and soul believing that everything is her fault because she’s ” defective “. If only she would open her eyes, and see that it’s not who she is that’s to blame, it’s the choices she made because of her low self esteem, and self doubt. Others try hard to tell her that she’s not to blame, and that she’s not a ” bad person “. Still no matter what others say, not much of it gets through until she decides to let it.
This is why I wish with all of my heart that there was a clear, and simple answer to help women like that. If only there was a ” pill “, or a pair of special glasses that they could put on, so then they’d automatically see everything clearly the same as the rest of the world.
Of course no one is completely free of ” problems ” in their lives. Everyone has their own ” cross to bear “; their own secrets behind closed doors. For the purposes of this post though, I’m focusing on one group of people; women with very low self esteem… women who deep down feel that they’re not ” worthy ” of true happiness.
Often throughout my life I’ve thought about becoming a counselor of some type. I care about people. I truly do. I’ve always empathized with others, even if they weren’t family, or friends. I always want to help someone in need.
While I truly don’t write for anyone but myself, still if anyone that reads my posts gets ” anything ” out of them then that’d be wonderful. I write for the sheer love of writing, but many times I try hard to write with a specific purpose.
In today’s society with so many technical advances, we’ve forgotten about the ” human element “. We’ve fallen behind terribly as far as helping others with the ” emotional side ” of life. Putting technology ahead of emotions I feel has caused a de-evolution of mankind as a species. We may as well be just animals since these days we only seem interested in fulfilling our basest of desires; i.e., electronic toys, luxury cars, expensive homes, expensive clothes. What happened to caring about a person’s heart ? Why have we pushed aside the fact that we all have feelings, and we all need true love, respect, caring, compassion, and kindness ? It seems to me that we’ve been pushing aside our basic ” humanity ” for the sake of technology, and materialistic luxuries. Too many of us believe that money can buy happiness. It can’t ! Yes of course a certain amount of financial stability is needed to survive, but beyond fulfilling our basic needs, we don’t need more than that. We’ve forgotten that what we need can not be bought. So many of us race through our lives pushing ourselves to accumulate more and more ” stuff “, while we’re completely forgetting what’s truly important.
With this in mind, is it really any wonder that so many women end up feeling inadequate, and unworthy. If they don’t match up to the pictures in the latest magazine, then they feel that they don’t deserve true happiness. What they forget too many times is that many times those pictures aren’t real, and even if they are real pictures the women have very likely undergone many surgical enhancements as well as having a large staff on hand to do their makeup, hair, and clothes, for the picture. Why wouldn’t they look great with all of those advantages ? I think anyone would under those circumstances. Plus, think about it… sure those women may have money, and / or fame, but do they have true happiness ? I doubt it, since they’re lives must be all about their schedule, and every move they make is watched and monitored. How can anyone live like that ? That would drive me nuts ! If they ate two extra string beans at lunch, it would probably make the news ! LOL ! Could you live like that ?
Back to my topic… One of the reasons so many women have such low self esteem is because of this extremely unrealistic representation of women in the media – magazines, tv, and movies. There’s simply no way an average woman can live up those standards. They don’t have the means to do it. If only so many men weren’t so damn gullible. They drink in the pictures of women in the media, and believe that ALL women should be like them ! They want all women to be like what they see in the media, even though it’s impossible. When an average woman doesn’t meet those standards, then the man feels empowered to treat her shabbily. He treats her with disrespect, coldness, and cruelty, because she’s not living up to the image of an ” ideal woman ” that he keeps in his mind. It’s completely unfair, since many men let themselves go when they get older but still expect women to ” fall all over them ” ! As laughable as that fact is, I still wish that many women could have even half of that self confidence. If they did then they wouldn’t be so likely to become involved with men that treat them so shamefully.
Besides the way society as a whole teaches us, it’s also our parents that need to not fall into the trap of gender stereotypes when raising their children. When parents teach their children from a very young age that women should always be quiet, sweet, submissive, and compliant to everyone, but it’s okay for men to be aggressive, bold, fearless, and many times cold… is it really any wonder that we grow up still thinking this is how we should be ? In many families we were raised to think that those stereotypes are the way we should be, and if we’re not following them then we’re a ” bad ” person. It’s drummed into our minds that we must be the way the ” world ” tells us to be. It’s about time that we advance our way of thinking about this along with the multitude of technical and scientific advances we’ve made. We need to balance those scales. They’ve been tipped the wrong way for far too long.

About insanityrules67

I'm passionate about Writing. I have been ever since high school. I also Love to Read Fantasy, or Sci-Fi. Plus I enjoy Drawing, Playing Games Online, Watching Movies, Playing Board Games, Watching WWE Wrestling, and Gazing at the Stars on a Clear Cool Fall - or Winter - Night. Plus I also Love to stay in Touch with my Friends and Family Online.
This entry was posted in Be Yourself... Not who the Media says You should be, Life Choices, Respect Yourself, Self Esteem, Stand up for Yourself, Unbalanced Relationships and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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