Feeling Slightly Pushed….

Of course I realize that I got Myself into this situation. But knowing that doesn’t change the FACT that I need to figure a Solution to it, and SOON ! The Reason I say SOON is because lately my Ex-Bf has been ‘ pushing Me ‘ to tell Him what my New Address is. HOW can I Do that, and Then turn around and Eventually admit to Him that I really DON’T want to Take Him Back AGAIN !? Right now He believes that I truly Want Him Back. I know that to a big extent my messages, and letters, have given Him that impression. Yet still, HOW can He really believe that I would take Him Back after being apart for So MANY YEARS ? As Well as After EVERYTHING that He’s put Me through in the PAST ?! Does He really think I’m that Naive ?! It sure seems like it. I don’t know. Maybe He’s simply got a twisted impression of my Feelings for Him, and He thinks I Love Him SO MUCH that I’m willing to Risk possibly going through ‘ Hell ‘ yet Again ?! That’s probably it, since I’ve always got the impression that He thinks so HIGHLY of Himself that He firmly believes that ANY WOMAN would do ANYTHING for Him… ANYTHING He asked Her to do ! I don’t understand how He could continue to have that attitude despite everything that’s happened to Him as a result of it.
Back to my original reason for writing this today… What do I do about My Ex-Bf pushing Me to give Him my current Address ?! I know that I can only ignore His request so long before He’ll inevitably get suspicious, and then He’ll probably finally ask Me IF I’ve found Someone Else ?… And IF I actually DON’T want to Take Him Back Again ?! What should I Do ? I wish I had a clue. I’m just not sure right now how to handle this.
ALL I really know for certain is that I DON’T want to do ANYTHING that will Hurt my Maine Sweetheart ! NO WAY ! I don’t want to EVER AGAIN risk Losing my Maine Sweetheart ! I came way too close to losing Him a couple of Other Times in the Past… and that was because of my Ex-Bf – ( who was once or twice my ‘ current bf ‘ during those times ). I wish this wasn’t so complicated, but I only have Myself to blame. I’ve created this situation. I created it out of my FEAR of being Hurt Again… My FEAR of being Alone.. My FEAR of losing Everyone Close to Me. I shouldn’t have let my FEARS control my Actions, but it’s too late now for second thoughts… after the deeds have already been done. Now things are truly coning down to the ‘ Wire ‘. Somehow I have to figure out a SOLUTION.. and I NEED to figure it out VERY SOON !

About insanityrules67

I'm passionate about Writing. I have been ever since high school. I also Love to Read Fantasy, or Sci-Fi. Plus I enjoy Drawing, Playing Games Online, Watching Movies, Playing Board Games, Watching WWE Wrestling, and Gazing at the Stars on a Clear Cool Fall - or Winter - Night. Plus I also Love to stay in Touch with my Friends and Family Online.
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