I’ve Been Thinking…

After having a Long, and Very Passionate phone Call with My ” Maine ” Sweetheart, it’s stirred My Thoughts to ponder just how much I actually Care for My ” Aussie ” Sweetheart ? I’ve said before that I LOVE My ” Aussie ” Sweetheart madly. But maybe that’s just it… It’s TOO close to an ” Obsession ” of sorts, possibly. That could explain the Intensity of Feelings whenever I’m around Him, and Especially how I Feel whenever He Kisses Me. Could that be the Explanation for it ? It’s not really Love as much as a ” Mad Crush “, or a type of ” Obsession ” ? I don’t know. I know for a FACT that I was Extremely Upset just Yesterday when I kept thinking about the ” Aussie’s ” medical condition. I kept thinking how it just didn’t seem Right, or Fair, for such a GOOD and SWEET Man to be plagued with such a terrible condition that typically means a shortened Life ! The ” Aussie ” deserves to Live a Very Long, Healthy, and Happy Life !
But as Cold as this is going to sound… LOVE isn’t the Same as Compassion, or Empathy. I know that, and it’s very possible that I may have to remind Myself of that Fact. I’ve always been a Very Empathetic Person – Very Compassionate, and Caring. It Hurts Me – literally – to see Others in Pain… Any Sort of Pain, whether it’s Emotional, or Physical, it’s Still Painful for Me to see THEM suffering. I know that it wouldn’t be Right, or Fair, to Myself.. or to the Other Person, to confuse those Feelings with LOVE. I hope that’s NOT what I’m doing, but when I Stop to really Think about it, I’m not completely sure.
What really made Me stop and Think was how MUCH I do TRULY WANT to be With My ” Maine ” Sweetheart in Person, FINALLY ! I’ve known Him for about 7 – 8 Years now ! So I’d say it’s WAY PAST Time to FINALLY MEET HIM in PERSON ! I’ve wanted that for Many Years now, and FINALLY I feel like the ACTUAL TIME for it to Really Happen is Finally drawing Near !
As Much as I really Feel for My ” Aussie ” Sweetheart, I don’t think I can let those feelings stop Me from making Plans to Finally Meet My ” Maine ” Sweetheart in Person.
Would that Upset My ” Aussie ” Sweetheart ? IF I actually Told Him about My ” Maine ” Sweetheart ? I’m not really sure… Especially after the brief Argument We had Today on the Phone because I made a ” Comment ” about Him Calling ME by Another Woman’s Name – ( An Ex-Lover’s Name, as a Matter of Fact ! ) – when I Answered the Phone when He Called Me ! Didn’t I have a Right to be a bit ” put out ” ?! I think so, but He didn’t think so, and proceeded to tell Me.. ” That Jealousy Shit is going to really start to deter My Feelings for You ! ” WHAT ?! WHY ? I had a Right to say what I said, after all… but HE apparently didn’t see it that Way ! I Can’t see My ” Maine ” Sweetheart EVER acting that Way on the Phone ! NEVER ! Besides That… I’ve been Realizing MORE and MORE that My ” Maine ” Sweetheart is a MUCH MORE PATIENT LISTENER than My ” Aussie ” Sweetheart ! I’ve NEVER had My ” Maine ” Sweetheart say that I Talk TOO Much ! He’s Always been VERY Patient with Me on the Phone, and ALWAYS Let Me Speak My Mind whatever the Topic was ! He’s NEVER put Any Restrictions on Me as far as How Much I can Talk to Him either… UNLIKE My ” Aussie ” Sweetheart, that is ! So as Much as I Would LOVE to see WHERE Things go with My ” Aussie ” Sweetheart, IF He continues to Criticize Me, and Put Me down because I Like to Write a LOT, and Sometimes I have a LOT to Say in Person, or On the Phone… IF His bitter critical comments continue to slip out, I might have to Truly ” Re-Think ” Things with Him, no matter What My Heart Still Feels for Him. After all, I deserve to be Treated in a TRULY CARING WAY… and NOT be Put Down, Judged, or Criticized ! I don’t feel I deserve any of that, at least… and It’s My LIFE… so MY OPINION COUNTS !

About insanityrules67

I'm passionate about Writing. I have been ever since high school. I also Love to Read Fantasy, or Sci-Fi. Plus I enjoy Drawing, Playing Games Online, Watching Movies, Playing Board Games, Watching WWE Wrestling, and Gazing at the Stars on a Clear Cool Fall - or Winter - Night. Plus I also Love to stay in Touch with my Friends and Family Online.
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