I really wish He would have Called Me Tonight. It would have even been worth it, even if my Mom had ended up making a ” Fuss ” about My Voice being ” Too Loud ” when I’m on the Phone… As IF it’s Any of Her Business since I’d be on a ‘ Private Call ‘. But, it’s not like I’d tell Her that, because I know She can’t help Her ” Moodiness ” sometimes. It’s all part of Her Parkinson’s symptoms, and I know that. It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with, though. Maybe it’s just as well that He hadn’t Called Me this Evening, since the Way Mom had been Today She probably would have made a ” Stink ” about Me being on the Phone, as IF I’m NOT ALLOWED to have ANY Sort of Social Life whatsoever ! Sometimes I feel like IF it was Up to Her I’d be shut off in some ” Convent ” somewhere ! At least that’s how She acts for the Most Part, and I’m NOT talking about only since Her Parkinson’s Symptoms started affecting Her. It was a Long Long Time Before Her Parkinson’s Symptoms started changing Her, that She was Already Acting as IF It’s ” Wrong ” in Some Way to want a ” Real Life ” – With Friends, and possible Boyfriend ( s ).
Just like Back BEFORE Her Parkinson’s… I STILL have to Remind Her from Time to Time that I Am an ADULT !… AND THAT I HAVE BEEN AN ADULT FOR A VERY LONG TIME NOW, SINCE I AM 45 YEARS OLD NOW, FOR GOODNESS SAKE !!!!
Still…. Despite My Mom’s Mood Today, I can’t help WISHING that He would have CALLED ME TONIGHT !!!! I Miss Him Whenever I haven’t heard from Him, even IF it’s only been a couple of Days, or so. A Couple of Days without hearing His Voice feels like Forever for Me. I wonder IF he feels this Intensely about Me. I hope that He does, or things would be too Unbalanced. He’s said how Much He wants to be With Me too. Maybe His Reasons for Not Calling Me as Often as I WISH He would are no more complicated than simply being TOO TIRED after Working ALL Day, and Also since He’s living with His Mom right now. Because of Living with His Mom at the moment, He must feel like He wouldn’t have Enough Privacy to be Free to Truly Speak what’s in His Heart to Me on the Phone – Especially during the Hours BEFORE She goes to Bed for the Night. Then the Catch to all of That is that IF He calls ME AFTER She’s gone to Bed, then He’d probably be worried that He’d be calling Me TOO LATE ! I wish I could somehow help Him to Understand that He can Call Me literally ANY TIME AT ALL ! No Matter WHAT Time it is, I’d ALWAYS be VERY VERY HAPPY to Hear from Him. xoxoxo
HOPEFULLY…. SOME TIME TOMORROW – WEDNESDAY 1 / 9 / 13 – HE’LL CALL ME… I HOPE.
I WISH HE’D CALL ME TODAY… BECAUSE I TRULY NEEDED TO HEAR HIS SWEET AND SEXY VOICE… AND BESIDES THAT… HEARING HIS VOICE, ALWAYS MAKES ME SMILE.