I thought that I had Guys pretty much figured out, but now I’m not so sure. I Wish there was some sort of ” Handbook ” with Instructions on How to Interrupt a Guy’s Behavior and Actions. That’d be Nice, for Sure ! But since there isn’t anything like that We’re left to fumble around in the Dark of Our Ignorance on the Matter. If only it wasn’t so.
Anyways…. Here’s a Good Example of Why I’m so perplexed at the moment.
Take into consideration that there’s a Guy that I’ve known Now for OVER 6 Years…. granted We haven’t Met in Person, YET…. but We’ve Talked a LOT over the Phone, and We’ve Exchanged Numerous E-mails over the Years. So I feel Very Strongly that I know Him just as well as IF I had already Met Him in Person; perhaps even Better, because I’ve always felt that with Many People they feel Freer to Express Themselves a lot more openly when there’s a certain amount of anonymity. It’s the Same with Some as far as Talking on the Phone goes. The Only Catch to This is that You have to watch out for People that will Use this Anonymity to not just ” Be Truly Themselves “, but They’ll carry things Too Far, and They’ll create an Entirely Different Persona that’s NOTHING LIKE the ” REAL ” Person ! Those ” Players ” are Everywhere, whether You’re talking to Someone Online, or even IF You met Them out in ” Public ” somewhere. Some People I feel are too Afraid to let the Other Person see what’s Truly Inside Them, so They build up a Shiny Wall of ” Fake-ness ” around Themselves…. typically It’s a ” Wall ” that They think the Other Person would Want to See. IF Only They would WAKE UP and Realize that Most of US out There actually DON’T WANT THAT, and would Much Rather get a True Opportunity to see the ” REAL ” Person – ( no matter even IF it’s a Mix of Good and Bad Things, as long as it’s the REAL Truth ).
Since We ALL are ” Flawed ” Human Beings, too often We continue to Dance Around Each Other… continually Showing the ” Other ” what We feel They Want to See, all the while Hiding how We Truly are.
Forgive Me for ” Rambling On ” a Bit…. My Point to this is that Even though I met this ” Guy ” Online, I’m certain that I do ” Know ” the Real Man.
But… Lately EVERY Time He Promises that He’s going to CALL ME, He doesn’t Call, and comes up with Excuse after Excuse why He Can’t…. and Then He’ll ” Say ” that He’ll Call Me the NEXT DAY !
Sure Enough when the ” NEXT DAY ” comes, here come the Excuses once again ! UGH !
I’m Confused. WHY does HE even BOTHER to Say that He’s going to ” CALL ME “, if He’s seemingly trying so hard to AVOID Calling Me ?!
What’s Up with That ?!?!?!?!
Does He even realize how that’s making Me Feel ?
I wonder IF He has even a little bit of a Clue how His Latest Behavior has been making Me wonder what’s been TRULY going on with Him !
AND… Frankly, it makes Me WONDER if His OLD FRIEND ‘ DAVE ‘ is really a GUY ????
I Want to Believe Him that ” DAVE ” is Really a Guy…. But can You really Blame Me for becoming slightly suspicious ????
He only JUST went ” OUT TO THE MOVIES WITH ‘ DAVE’ JUST LAST NIGHT “…. AND Today INSTEAD of CALLING ME as Soon as He Got Up Today – like He had PROMISED HE WOULD DO – Instead I get an E-mail from Him saying that HE’S STILL WITH DAVE, AND HE WILL BE WITH HIM TILL SUNDAY AFTERNOON… AND HE’LL CALL ME RIGHT AFTER THAT !!!!! LOL Yeah Right ! I’m NOT going to Hold My Breath on That One ! That’s For DAMN SURE !
This Confusion lately caused by His NOT KEEPING HIS PROMISES TO CALL ME… has made Me feel that I should Talk to Him about it. BUT, I don’t want to seem like I’m just bitching, and complaining at Him ! I don’t want to End Up completely ” Pushing Him Away “, or even just seeming like I’m ” Trying to Push Him Away “, because I’m NOT at That Point at all ! Somehow I want Him to UNDERSTAND that I would Truly appreciate it IF He would THINK FIRST before He told Me When He’s going to CALL ME, AND IF There’s Even a Small Chance that He WON’T be able to CALL ME during The Time He already said that He would, then HE NEEDS to Tell Me that !
WHY is that so seemingly Hard for Him to do ????
Is it MAYBE because He’s Afraid of Losing Me, and Believes that IF He doesn’t Promise to CALL ME often Enough, that I’ll break up with Him completely ?!?!
He doesn’t have to Worry about that at all… since it’s NOT going to Happen.
I’ve Held Tight to Him for Too Long now to ” Give Up ” on “Him and I” at this point; and especially NOT Over something so petty !
NOW the ” Million Dollar Question ” is… ” WHAT TO DO NEXT ???? “
Between RIGHT NOW – ( 4:50 pm Saturday January 5th, 2013 ) – and Tomorrow – ( Sunday January 6th, 2013 ) – I’ve GOT TO find a Way to thoroughly explain my Feelings about This to Him. Somehow.
Till Then… I Hope and PRAY that my Suspicions are NOT Right about Dave possibly NOT being Who ” He ” has said He is. Plus I need to do WHATEVER it Takes to Distract Myself from dwelling over all of this Far TOO Much in my Mind Until Tomorrow – ( Whenever He Finally deems to Actually CALL ME ! ) !